It Is Well With My Soul
Today Arthur went home to be with Jesus and his big sister Gaby. He had been going fairly strong all night with decent heart rate and blood oxygen. This continued all morning and into the afternoon when Laura did another session of holding him skin to skin.
As soon as he was placed on Laura, all his numbers declined immediately and he passed very quickly. I was barely able to make it in time but we were both with him for time of death. As his heart stopped, Laura was singing “it is well with my soul” to him, and it definitely seemed to be the case with Arthur. We think he’d been holding on waiting till he was in his mothers arms one last time before being passed from her embrace onto Jesus’s arms.
Cyrus took it shockingly hard, dropping suddenly in heartbeat and oxygen the very moment his brother passed away. He came extremely close to dying himself, with nurses shaking him and working him over for two or three devastating minutes before his numbers finally came back up.
It’s late at night as I write this, and I have emotional whiplash from the last week. Laura and I were able to get through the day but are exhausted and deep in the throes of grief. Laura is currently holding Cyrus now, and I’m sitting alone in the empty half of the room where Arthur used to be. I’m praying that Laura will be able to pour her bereaved maternal heart into loving on Cyrus tonight and our girls too. I hope to do the same myself.
As always, please continue praying. Grief is difficult and I don’t think there’s ever a way to prepare for it. I think the first couple of weeks are probably going to be the hardest, but we’re just going to keep getting through each day as it comes. I read somewhere that God gives us enough strength each day to last the day. He doesn’t give us enough to last tomorrow until tomorrow comes. I suppose this is a direct corollary to Jesus words “Do not worry about tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own.” Easier said than done, but please pray that God will help us do it.
